Ratings Giant Tries More TV Shows…

Clearly Better Service? Crystal Business Strategy? Crime Bust Station? Cake Bannana Sandwich? However you choose to remember CBS, you must always rememeber that they will eat you alive in ratings when it comes to almost anything. I don’t know how they do it, but CBS shows seem to either die immediately (3 lbs anyone? Moonlight?) or are smash hits.

Corny Bland Shit

Corny Bland Shit

Now obviously it is not as cut and dry as I have just mentioned. There have been instances where a show on CBS was a smash hit only to then die immediately (not soon enough “Shark”!). Sure they’ve had their share of misses, but when CBS hits, they hit BIG. So with this in mind, I always find it amusing to read about the new pilots that CBS chooses to greenlight.

This show used to be a one sentance plot summary. Then it was huge. Then... IT WAS GONE!

This show used to be a one sentence plot summary. Then it was huge. Then... IT WAS GONE!

As it stands currently, CBS has a boat load of heavy hitters:

CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: New York, Criminal Minds, NCIS, The Mentalist, Two and a Half Men, and Big Bang Theory; just to name a few. Even shows that perform adequately, like Numb3rs, performs adequately on a FRIDAY night… which is huge considering the low ratings Friday nights usually recieve. So one has to ask “Does CBS really need to be signing MORE shows already?”. Apparently they decided it was worth a shot; so now we must wonder if these will be the fateful decisions that finally destroy the giant or will these shows just add to the non-stoppable force that is CBS. Here are some brief overviews.

“Miami Trauma” – A new drama from Jerry Bruckheimer (who has produced just about every successful drama ON CBS) about… well… I can’t find out too much about it… except for apparently it’s about Trauma Surgeons in… Miami. What I wouldn’t do to see David Caruso in a pair of scrubs. Add some techno montages of doctor/surgeon footage and drop a few one liners like “I can only repair your body, only YOU can repair your soul” and I think you’ll have a CBS classic.

Picture watching this, but it looking WAY cooler!

Picture watching this, but it looking WAY cooler!

“Accidentally on Purpose” – This is a comedy based on an autobiographical novel about a critic who “has a fling” with a younger man and gets pregnant. Oh man, I can’t STOP laughing. Nothing’s funnier than unwanted children.

I'm laughing already...

I'm laughing already...

“Waiting to Die” – Oh man, get this. This is another comedy… and it’s about two guy friends! And what’s the show’s premise you ask? They’re easygoing. Yep. That’s it. Another description I read said “a buddy comedy about a pair of totally chillaxed friends”. Arrested Development’s Mitch Hurwitz is the force behind this and apparently the pilot was co-written by MadTV’s Will Sasso! Not a bad team… however that is a rediculously bad summary.

“Three Rivers” – Another medical drama to join the explosively intense “Miami Trauma”. This one invloves following organ transplants through the eyes of doctors, donors and recipients. Sounds like a tearfest. Should go great next to “The Ghost Whisperer”.

“The Good Wife” – Apparently there was a lawyer sized hole left in CBS when Shark left. Enter “The Good Wife”. She’s married to a politician. She makes a name for herself by becoming a really good defense attorney. I almost fell asleep typing that description.

So CBS is out to do it again. As always, reading a show summarized down into a single sentence totally makes it seem way shittier than it really deserves to be interpreted. However, I would be remiss if I didn’t point out how these summaries sound like they were written by a 12-year old. When it boils down to it, it’s all about presentation. If “Waiting to Die” is legitametely funny, it doesn’t really matter how basic the premise is. I can forsee some of these shows joining into the clichéd ranks of CBS’s greatest shows, but only time will tell. Maybe we’ll never see half of these shows… I know I won’t.

Until we meet again.

– Kyle


~ by axknel on February 10, 2009.

One Response to “Ratings Giant Tries More TV Shows…”

  1. I have a new tv show idea about a television producer who gives his soul to the devil. I think it may already have a real life analogy.

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